


If you came to love me

by waterrwell



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Angst and Feels, Depressed Ikari Shinji, Everyone Has Issues, Fluff, Heavy Angst, I Made Myself Cry, Ikari Shinji Plays the Cello, Kaworu does (not) understand, M/M, Manga Nagisa Kaworu, Nagisa Kaworu Lives, POV Nagisa Kaworu, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:55:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29613921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterrwell/pseuds/waterrwell
Summary: “If you came to love me, I wonder, how would it feel?” Kaworu said, placing his hand on Shinji's cheek.“Guys don't like other guys!” Shinji squeaked, slapping Kaworu's hand away from his face.“Why do you hate me so much?!”“Because you do strange things!”Kaworu felt his heart tear in two, but he didn’t understand this feeling and why it affected him so much.—Kaworu attempts to fix things.
Relationships: Ayanami Rei & Ikari Gendo, Ayanami Rei & Ikari Shinji, Ikari Shinji & Nagisa Kaworu, Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	If you came to love me

**Author's Note:**

> i’m excited to finish this, (3

“If you came to love me, I wonder, how would it feel?” Kaworu said, placing his hand on Shinji's cheek.

“Guys don't  _ like _ other guys!” Shinji squeaked, slapping Kaworu's hand away from his face.

“Why do you hate me so much?!”

“Because you do strange things!” 

Kaworu felt his heart tear in two, but he didn’t understand this feeling and why it affected him so much.

_ Ring Ring _

Shinji flew to the phone in an attempt to escape the situation at hand and had succeeded.

“Hello?” 

“Oh, Misato.”

“Yes… Wait, what!”

“Ayanami? She's alive?”

Kaworu felt angry but hopeless. Was this jealousy he felt? He’d wondered.

Although he had practically confessed to Shinji and showed affection he was still turned away. He did not understand. 

Kaworu gulped and concentrated on something other than Shinji, maybe if he didn't think about him the pain in his chest would disappear. 

_ ‘Why do the Lilins emotions have to be so complicated!..’ _

“Look, I have to go,” Shinji mumbled, slipping on his white shirt and buttoning it up.

“Let's pretend this never happened. Don't pull that move again.” He approached the door, opening it.

“But I don't  _ understand _ , Shinji.” 

“Well, I  _ do _ .” Then he was gone.

—-

Kaworu hadn’t come out of his room for hours after the incident, had he miscalculated the situation?

He hadn’t felt this feeling before, he felt empty, as if a drill was digging into his chest. 

He didn’t expect to get these emotions along with his body. Was this how Lilin suffered?

Maybe he could distract himself from these cursed emotions. Kaworu grabbed the remote and turned on the television, scrolling through channels. 

In the end he couldn’t find anything interesting. Maybe he only liked watching the television when Shinji were here, they’d spent a lot of time together hadn’t they?”

—

“Leaving again?”

Shinji had returned to get his duffel bag and some of his belongings later that day.

“Yeah, sorry for staying over so many days.” Shinji said blandly, picking up his duffel bag and hanging it around his shoulder.

“Sorry, huh? You don’t really feel that way, do you?..” A sad smile slithered onto Kaworu's face.

“I’m very grateful, see you later.” Shinji had said, taking his leave once more.

_ Pretty self absorbed, leaving in a rush as soon as he finds out the first is alive.. _

Kaworu continued to read a magazine, one about clothes and food and other stuff that he wasn’t very interested in. ‘ _ Damn it.. Damn you Ayanami Rei..’  _

Kaworu threw the magazine towards the wall.

  
  
  



End file.
